The Qur’an allows husbands to beat their wives, and Muhammad repeatedly instructed his followers they could beat their wives.
Surah 4, verse 34 says:
“Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great. (Shakir)
(“Desertion” above is also translated “arrogance” (Sahih International), “disloyalty and ill-conduct” (Ali), “rebellion” (Pickthall), “who disobey” (Sarwar).
Al-Wahidi tells us that a man hit a woman on the face and her father went to the Prophet Muhammad to obtain his judgment. At first, Muhammad said the woman should retaliate against the husband, but then 4:34 was revealed and the retaliation was disallowed.
“(Men are in charge of women…) [4:34]. Said Muqatil: “This verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed about Sa‘d ibn al-Rabi‘, who was one of the leaders of the Helpers (nuqaba’), and his wife Habibah bint Zayd ibn Abi Zuhayr, both of whom from the Helpers. It happened Sa‘d hit his wife on the face because she rebelled against him. Then her father went with her to see the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. He said to him: ‘I gave him my daughter in marriage and he slapped her’. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: ‘Let her have retaliation against her husband’. As she was leaving with her father to execute retaliation, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, called them and said: ‘Come back; Gabriel has come to me’, and Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verse. The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: ‘We wanted something while Allah wanted something else, and that which Allah wants is good’. Retaliation was then suspended”.
Al-Jalalayn say:
“Men are in charge of, they have authority over, women disciplining them and keeping them in check because of that with which God has preferred the one over the other, that is because God has given them the advantage over women in knowledge, reason, authority and otherwise and because of what they expend on them the women of their property. Therefore, righteous women among them are obedient to their husbands, guarding in the unseen that is guarding their private parts and otherwise during their spouses’ absence because of what God has guarded for them when He enjoined their male spouses to look after them well. And those you fear may be rebellious, disobedient to you, when such signs appear admonish them, make them fear God and share not beds with them, retire to other beds if they manifest such disobedience and strike them but not violently if they refuse to desist from their rebellion after leaving them in separate beds.”
Al-Qushairi says:
“And those you fear may be rebellious admonish them and share not beds with them and strike them: that is increase your correction of them gradually and with kindness for if the matter can be reconciled with admonition there is no need to use the rod to strike.”
Ibn Kathir says:
“. . .’beat them’ means, if advice and ignoring her in the bed do not produce the desired results, you are allowed to discipline the wife, without severe beating.”
Ibn ‘Abbas says:
“. . . (and scourge them) in a mild, unexaggerated manner.”
Maududi says:
“But the fact is that there are certain women who do not mend their ways without a beating. In such a case, the Holy Prophet has instructed that she would not be beaten on the face, or cruelly, or with anything which might leave a mark on the body.”
Qutb says:
“The Prophet is reported to have given this general directive: “Do not beat up the women servants of God.” `Umar later went to the Prophet and said that many women had become rebellious. The Prophet then allowed that they be beaten. Many women then came to the Prophet with complaints against their husbands. The Prophet addressed his Companions saying: “Many women have called at Muĥammad’s home complaining against their husbands. Certainly, these men are not the best among you.” (Related by Abū Dāwūd, al- Nasā’ī and Ibn Mājah.) The Prophet portrays this horrid picture of a man who beats up his wife: “Do not beat your wife like you beat your camel, for you will be flogging her early in the day and taking her to bed at night.”
What constitutes “not violently”, “without severe beating”, “in a mild, unexaggerated manner”? For further instruction, we consult the sahih hadith.
Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 11, Number 2137, says:
“Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri: ‘Mu’awiyah asked: “Apostle of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him?” He replied: “That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, . . .”’”
Sahih Muslim, Book 009, Number 3506, says:
“Jabir b. ‘Abdullah reported: “Abu Bakr came and sought permission to see Allah’s Messenger. He found people sitting at his door and none amongst them had been granted permission, but it was granted to Abu Bakr and he went in. Then came ‘Umar and he sought permission and it was granted to him, and he found Allah’s Apostle sitting sad and silent with his wives around him. He (Hadrat ‘Umar) said: ‘I would say something which would make the Holy Prophet laugh, so he said: “Messenger of Allah, I wish you had seen (the treatment meted out to) the daughter of Khadija when you asked me some money, and I got up and slapped her on her neck.” Allah’s Messenger laughed and said: “They are around me as you see, asking for extra money.” Abu Bakr then got up went to ‘A’isha and slapped her on the neck, and ‘Umar stood up before Hafsa and slapped her saying: “You ask Allah’s Messenger which he does not possess.”
Sahih Muslim, Book 004, Number 2127, says:
